


Love’s Gentle Touch

by lifeaftercheckmate



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Best Friends, Cuddling, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Garcia is jealous, Holding, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Luke is super sweet, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, PTSD, Past Domestic Violence, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Touching, more tags will be added as i figure out wtf i'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 22:38:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15083261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeaftercheckmate/pseuds/lifeaftercheckmate
Summary: Spencer is suffering from PTSD following the violent death of his best friend and is on indefinite leave from the BAU. Luke was injured in a rescue mission of a fellow soldier and was medically discharged from the Army. They find solace in each other. Can love help them heal?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mggislife2789](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/gifts).



> This is my first ever Ralvez fic and I’m so excited! I hope you guys love it as much as I do!! Please please comment and tell me what you think! (Pleeeeease XD) 
> 
> Thanks to mggislife2689 for all of her Ralvez inspiration as I was doing my “research” for this pairing. She’s the best. Go read her fics.

Luke was just coming back from a hike with Roxy when he saw Spencer get out of his car in the parking lot of their apartment building. The sky had darkened and the stars were starting to come out. He’d seen the young genius around a few time since he moved in a couple months ago and they'd exchanged a few pleasantries. Spencer gave him a small wave as he walked to the door.

Luke smiled and held the door open for him. “How are you today?” Luke asked as he followed Spencer inside the building.

“OK, I guess,” Spencer said noncommittally.

“You guess?” Luke asked.

Spencer shrugged. “It’s been a bit of a rough day,” he said.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Luke said. There was a series of loud explosions from the next yard over as some kids lit a few fireworks. Spencer dropped to his knees on the landing and covered his ears. He bent over so his forehead was touching his knees, his face twisted in agony.

“No, no, no!” he shouted. “Please! JJ!” Luke rushed over and knelt beside him.

“Spencer,” he said gently. Spencer didn’t respond. Luke put his hand on Spencer’s back. Spencer jerked at the unexpected contact and then collapsed against Luke’s chest, trembling and sobbing. Luke wrapped his arms around him.

“It’s OK, Spencer. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” Luke said. He kept talking, offering reassurances, and rubbed circles on Spencer’s back. “Listen to my voice. Focus on me. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Spencer couldn’t stop crying. His mind had taken him to another time and place and he was reliving the hell all over again with no way to make it stop. The gun shot. The blood. The terror. It was all coursing through him and he was shaking under the weight of it.

“Let’s get you inside,” Luke said. “My apartment is right here.” He helped Spencer to his feet and put his hand on the small of Spencer’s back to guide him in the right direction. “Go lay down,” Luke said to Roxy when he had gotten the door open. Roxy trotted obediently to her kennel. Luke guided Spencer over to the couch and sat next to him. Spencer had stopped crying, but his breathing was quick and ragged and he was still shaking.

Luke took Spencer’s hands in his. “Spencer, listen to me. You have to take deep breaths. You’re going to hyperventilate. Breathe with me. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” He demonstrated the breathing and slowly, Spencer started to mimic him. He focused on Luke’s voice and the feeling of his hands. Luke’s grip was firm, but gentle. His hands were large and strong and calloused from years of hard work. As Spencer started to calm, Luke dropped his hands and pulled away, but Spencer’s long fingers darted out and grabbed his hand again. He leaned against Luke. Spencer didn’t usually like to be touched, but right now, that touch and that voice was the only thing anchoring him to reality. Luke put his arm around Spencer’s shoulders and held him, rocking him back and forth ever so slightly, speaking constant small reassurances of safety. Slowly, Spencer started to come around again, and when he did, he was humiliated. He sat up and pulled away, shame flushing his cheeks bright red.

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer mumbled. Luke had noted Spencer’s need for touch and laid his hand softly on Spencer’s leg.

“There’s no need to apologize,” he said.

“That was so embarrassing,” Spencer said.

“There’s no reason to be embarrassed,” Luke assured him. Spencer slumped back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. Luke’s hand stayed on his leg, a reminder of where he was so his tormented brain couldn’t sweep him away again.

“I should go,” Spencer said. He shuddered. He hadn’t had an episode that bad in at least a month and he didn’t want to lay alone in the quiet of his apartment with nothing to occupy him but his thoughts, but he had intruded on Luke enough.

“You don’t have to,” Luke said. Spencer closed his eyes. Luke’s voice was smooth and calm and kind. “You can stay. You can even sleep here if you don’t want to be alone. My couch is very comfortable.”

Spencer opened his eyes and lifted his head off the back of the couch to look at Luke.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” he asked.

“Until three months ago, I was an Army Ranger. I can spot PTSD a mile away. I wouldn’t want to be alone right now if I were you.”

“You didn’t even really know me a half hour ago,” Spencer said.

“Why does that matter?” Luke asked. “I know you now.” Spencer bit the inside of his cheek. He really didn’t want to be alone, but what if he had a nightmare? What if he woke Luke up? He didn’t want to insert himself into someone else’s life, especially someone who had no obligation to him.  
Luke gave Spencer’s leg a quick squeeze. “It’s OK. It really is. I have PTSD, too. I get it.”

Spencer let out a long breath. “OK,” he said.

Luke smiled softly at him. “I can get you something to sleep in,” he said.

Spencer nodded. “I’m exhausted.”  
  
“PTSD episodes can be physically draining,” Luke said.

“Tell me about it,” Spencer said.

“I’ll be right back.” Luke went to his bedroom and returned with a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt. “I’m bigger than you, but these pants have a drawstring in the front,” he said.

Spencer stood and took the clothes. “You really don’t have to do this,” Spencer said.

“I know. The bathroom is the first room on the left.” Spencer changed and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. The clothes were way too big for him, his hair was a mess, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to smooth it down to no avail. He gave up and walked back into the living room. Luke smiled when he saw Spencer.

“I look ridiculous,” Spencer said.

“You kind of do, yeah,” Luke said. Spencer could hear the good-natured amusement in Luke’s voice and smiled back.

“Thanks,” he said sarcastically.

“Hey, I’m nothing if not honest. Do you want something to drink or are you hungry? I have leftover pizza in the refrigerator.”

“No, I’m good. I just want to sleep.” Spencer set his clothes and cell phone down on the coffee table and sat back down on the couch.

“I’ll get you a blanket and a pillow.” Luke grabbed the afghan off of his recliner and a pillow off of his bed and brought them out to Spencer. “I’ll leave you alone to get some rest. If you need anything at all, I’m right down the hallway.” Spencer sure as hell wasn’t going to wake Luke up for anything, nightmares or not, but he appreciated the offer.

“Thank you, Luke.”

“It’s not a problem. Get some sleep.” He left Spencer in the living room and walked to his bedroom to get ready for bed himself.

Spencer settled himself down on the couch under the afghan. The pillow smelled like Luke. Spencer thought about how Luke had held him in the hallway. Why had he not pulled away? There was something comforting about Luke’s touch. Spencer nestled into the couch and imagined Luke holding him again and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Spencer get to know each other.

Spencer woke up the next day to the smell of fresh coffee. It took a moment to remember where he was, but when he saw Luke in the kitchen in flannel and an old Army tshirt and Roxy laying at his feet, he smiled. He really was sweet to open his home up like this to someone he barely knew and Spencer had slept better the previous night than he had since… He winced at the memory. But no. He shook his head to clear it. Today he was going to be OK. Today he wasn’t going to feel like he was drowning. He sat up and pushed the blanket off and stretched.

Luke looked over and smiled. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said.

“Mmm. Morning,” Spencer mumbled and rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost 9 o’ clock.”

Spencer stood and made his way to the kitchen. “Coffee?” he asked, hopefully.

“How do you like it?”

“Black with a ton of sugar.” Luke handed him a mug and poured coffee into it and then scooted the sugar bowl and a spoon over.

“I don’t know what qualifies as a ton of sugar, so I’ll let you take care of that.” He poured himself a mug of coffee and poured a little plain cream into it. He sipped it and watched as Spencer put spoonful after spoonful of sugar into his coffee.

Luke shook his head and chuckled. “Did you sleep well?” Luke asked.

“Better than I have in a long time.”

“Good.” When Spencer was satisfied with the amount of sugar in his coffee, they walked back into the living room and Roxy followed them. Luke folded the blanket and put it over the recliner and then sat on the couch with one arm laid over the back. Spencer sat on the other side of the couch and sipped his coffee quietly with a far away look in his eyes, wishing Luke would scoot over and put his arm around him. Something about him made Spencer feel that he truly was safe.

“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked.

Spencer blushed. He wanted Luke to touch him again and he got the feeling that Luke wouldn’t mind, but he didn’t know how to ask, so he just scooted over and leaned back against Luke’s arm. Luke got the message and dropped his arm down around Spencer’s shoulders.

“Come here,” Luke said, and pulled Spencer closer. Spencer nestled into him and took another sip of his sickly sweet coffee.

“This isn’t weird to you?” he asked.

“Should it be?” Luke asked. Spencer shrugged.  
  
“There have been a lot of studies about the use of touch in treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” Luke said. “I know for me, when I am having a nightmare or my anxiety is up, Roxy will come over and sit right next to me and lay her head on my lap and it helps. Besides, I don’t think humans are wired to be as separated as we are. Technology and societal expectations keep us pretty far apart.”

“That’s true. Human contact releases oxytocin into the brain which creates feelings of well-being or happiness and has been shown to help with many disorders including ADHD. I was just reading a 2009 study by DePauw University psychologist Matthew Hertenstein where they had volunteers attempted to communicate a list of emotions to a blindfolded stranger solely through touch. Hertenstein was expecting the accuracy rate to be around 25 percent but was quite surprised to find the accuracy rate as high as 78 percent. Previous studies by Hertenstein and others have produced similar findings abroad, including in Spain, the UK, Pakistan, and Turkey.”

“That’s fascinating,” Luke said. Spencer looked up to see if he was serious. Luke’s gaze was focused intently on Spencer and his face was sincere.

“That’s not the response I usually get,” Spencer said.

“Response to what?”

Spencer shrugged. “I tend to ramble a lot.”

“What’s the response you usually get?”

“People tend to cut me off or tell me to stop talking.”

Luke furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I think I make people uncomfortable,” Spencer said.

“You don’t make me uncomfortable,” Luke said.

“You don’t know me very well.”

“I’d like to. I was thinking about going out for breakfast. Come with me. My treat.”

Spencer looked curiously at Luke. “I don’t understand you,” he said. Luke looked at him quietly for a moment.

“I just lost my best friend, Phil, in Iraq,” he said. “He was captured and tortured. We managed to raid the compound, shut down the operation, and rescue him, but it was too late. He died from his injuries. If this had happened any other way, he’s the one I would be turning to. I don’t know your story. I don’t know who you have in your life. But I know if it had been me having flashbacks in the hallway yesterday, I would wish someone had the compassion to be there for me. What happened to him was so awful. I have to believe in the compassion of the human race. It’s the only thing keeping me going right now.” Roxy lifted her head off her paws and whined. Luke chuckled. “Well that and Roxy of course,” he said with a smile. Spencer set his now-empty coffee mug on a coaster on the coffee table and turned to face Luke.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Spencer said softly.

“Thank you,” Luke said quietly.

“I just lost my best friend, too. I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI. We were chasing a serial killer in Michigan and he shot her. She bled out in my arms before the medics got there. Her name was JJ. I flunked my psych eval spectacularly and now I’m on indefinite leave.” Spencer snorted. “It’s the only test I’ve ever failed.” Luke set his coffee mug down and pulled Spencer to his chest, wrapping both arms around him.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Luke said. Spencer closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Luke’s arms around him. He let the memories come, but they didn’t overtake him. They didn’t rip him away from the present moment.

“Breakfast?” Luke said after a while. Spencer pulled back.

“Breakfast. I have to change. I can’t go like this.”  
Luke laughed. “Yeah. Me, too. What apartment are you in?”

“23,” Spencer said.

“OK. I’ll get cleaned up and meet you up there.” Spencer went into the bathroom and changed back into his clothes and gave Luke’s clothes back to him.

“See you in a bit,” Luke said. Spencer gave an awkward wave and walked up to his apartment. After a moment of consideration, he decided to take a quick shower. His hair was a disaster from sleeping on the couch and he wanted to get it back under some sort of control. He washed quickly and thought of Luke. It was relief not to have to explain himself to someone. He knew his team at the BAU had his back, but they worked so much that it was hard for them to be there for him as well. Spencer didn’t begrudge them that. The team was two agents down and they had a lot to make up for. They called regularly and stopped in when they could, especially Garcia and Morgan.  
Luke was sweet and easy to be around. And very attractive, which didn’t hurt. Spencer hoped they could be friends. It was nice to have someone close to lean on and Spencer liked to think he had something to offer Luke, as well.

Spencer stood in front of his closet wrapped in a towel and tried to decide what to wear. He had just pulled a pair of jeans on when Luke knocked at the door. He tossed the towel into the laundry hamper and went to open the door. Luke took in the sight of Spencer shirtless and swallowed the urge to comment.

“I’ll just be a second,” Spencer said. “I opted to take a shower.”

“No rush,” Luke said as Spencer walked back to his bedroom, hoping his voice didn’t betray him. Spencer was a profiler after all. Spencer settled on a royal blue shirt and a plum cardigan, one lime green sock with a grey argyle print and one blue and white striped one.

“Nice socks,” Luke said when Spencer walked back into the living room.

“I don’t wear matching socks. It’s bad luck. The last time I wore matching socks, I broke my ankle.” *

Luke laughed. “I don’t think your socks broke your ankle,” he said as Spencer pulled on his shoes.

“Maybe not, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” Luke followed Spencer out of the apartment and Spencer saw Roxy laying in the hallway wearing a service vest.

“I hope you don’t mind if we take her,” Luke said. “I just had her certified as a service dog.”

“It’s fine,” Spencer said. “Maybe that’s why she doesn’t hate me.”

“Come on Roxy,” Luke said. Roxy got up and went to his side. Luke patted her head. “Roxy loves everyone.”

“I usually have the same adverse reaction on dogs as I do on people,” Spencer said as he followed Luke to his car.

“You’re way too hard on yourself. I think you’re great.”

Spencer snorted. “Give it time.” Luke pushed the unlock button on his car remote and opened Spencer’s door for him. Spencer smiled in thanks and slid into the passenger seat. Luke opened the back door for Roxy and got in on his side.

  
“Where are we going?” Spencer asked.

“A little diner in town called Samantha’s,” Luke said. “They have the best pancakes.”

“Do they have waffles?”

“Yep.”

“I love waffles.”

“Well get ready for all the waffles you can eat.” Luke pulled into the parking lot and opened Spencer’s car door and the back door for Roxy and followed Spencer into the diner. They sat at the table and Spencer picked up the menu. Roxy laid down at Luke’s feet. A waitress walked over with a notepad.

“What can I get for ya guys?” she asked.

“Coffee, please. Two creams,” Luke said.

“I’ll take a coffee, too, please,” Spencer said.

“OK, hun. I’ll be right back,” the waitress said. Spencer and Luke’s feet met under the table and held. Spencer smiled down at the menu. He’d already read it, but he wanted the distraction. The waitress came back with two mugs, creamers, and a pot of coffee. She sat the mugs down in front of them and poured the coffee.

“You guys know what you wanna eat?” she asked.

“I’m ready. Are you?” Luke asked.

“Yes,” Spencer said. “I’d like the blueberry waffles.”

“And for you, hun?” the waitress asked Luke.

“I’ll have the maple pecan pancakes,” Luke said.

“Anything else?”

“I’m good,” Luke said.

“Me, too.” Spencer said.

“OK. I’ll be back with your food.” The waitress took their menus and walked away.

“So tell me about yourself,” Luke said as he stirred the cream into his coffee.

Spencer thought for a second. “I’m 30. I’m from Los Vegas. I have three Ph Ds from Cal Tech – ”

Luke’s eyebrows shot up. “Three?”

“Three: engineering, mathematics, and chemistry, and two Bachelor’s in psychology and sociology, and I’m working on a Bachelor’s in philosophy.”

“Damn. That’s impressive.”

Spencer blushed. “Um, I speak six languages. I graduated high school when I was 12. I never really had a lot of friends. I got bullied a lot. I joined the BAU when I was 22. It was the first place I really felt like I belonged.”

“They’re very important to you.”

“The team is very close, like a family. We put our lives on the line for each other on a regular basis. That forms a special kind of bond.”

“Now that I understand,” Luke said. “Tell me more.” Spencer started to fidget. He wasn’t used to someone taking such an interest in him.

“Uh, my favorite author is Thomas Merton. My favorite music is Beethoven. My favorite TV show is a tossup between Doctor Who and Start Trek. My favorite color is red. Uh… I think that’s all.

“What about your parents? Do you have any siblings?” Spencer shifted uncomfortably and looked out over Luke’s shoulder. Luke laid his hand over Spencer’s. “It’s ok. You don’t have to answer.”

“No… it’s ok.” Spencer turned his hand over and held Luke’s. “Uh, my dad left when I was little. My mom has schizophrenia. I, uh…I had to have her committed when I was 18.” Luke rubbed his thumb against the back of Spencer’s hand.

“You’ve had it pretty rough.”

Spencer shrugged. “I have a lot to be grateful for.” The waitress came back with their plates and set them down.

“Enjoy. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Luke said and she walked away. Spencer took a big bite of his waffles then closed his eyes and moaned. Luke’s heart skipped a beat.

“These are so good. I love waffles.” He wolfed down a few more bites.

“Slow down,” Luke said with a smile. “They’re not going anywhere.” Spencer took a long drink of his coffee.

“It’s your turn to tell me about yourself,” Spencer said.

“Well, I’m 35. I have no Ph Ds, but I’m fluent in Spanish and ASL. I was born and raised by my mom in the Bronx. My dad was in the Army and served in Vietnam. I signed up when I was 18 and was in until about three months ago. One of my specialties was animal training.”

“What regiment were you in?” Spencer asked. Now it was Luke’s turn to look uncomfortable.

“The 75th.” Spencer raised his eyebrows.

“Now that’s impressive. I can hardly pass my firearms qualifications.”

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Luke said without looking at Spencer.

“I can only imagine,” Spencer said. “What else?”

“What do you want to know?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green, a deep, earthy green.”

“Favorite TV show?”

“CSI Miami.”

“What do you want to do with your life now that you’re out of the Army?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’d always thought about trying for the FBI’s fugitive task force, but I was shot in the knee during the rescue mission. I’m a little lost, I guess.” Spencer smiled softly.

“You’re a good man with a strong will. You’ll figure it out.”

Luke smiled back. “Yeah, I guess. For now I’m writing a book.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “What kind of book? He asked.”

“Short stories. Mostly military stuff.” Luke shrugged. “I don’t know if anything will come of it.”

“Do you share your writing?” Spencer asked.

“I hadn’t thought about it,” Luke said.

“I’d love to take a look if you don’t mind.”

Luke hesitated. “OK, but be gentle.”

“I’m sure you’re great.”

Spencer and Luke continued to chit chat over their breakfast and Luke slipped bites to Roxy every once in a while so she wouldn’t feel left out. When they were finished, Luke paid and tipped the waitress and they walked to the car.

“Do you have any plans for the day?” Spencer asked.

“I’m going to work on my book. I’ll probably go for a hike with Roxy later. What about you?”

“The semester is starting in a week so I’m going to read my textbooks to get ready for class.”

Luke shot Spencer a look as he backed out of the parking spot. “You’re going to read your textbooks?” he asked.

“I always do.”

“How many classes are you taking?”

“Five.”

Luke quirked an eyebrow. “You’re going to read five textbooks?”

“It makes the tests easier,” Spencer said.

“In one afternoon…”

“It’ll only take a few hours. The human brain can process 20,000 words per second. And I have an idetic memory. I told you I was weird.”

“I think you’re incredible.” Spencer forrowed his brow and looked down and then up at Luke.

“Really?”

“Of course. You’re smart. You’re strong. You’re handsome.”

Spencer blushed and let the last comment slide. “You’ve known me for less than 24 hours.”

“I’m good at reading people. It’s kind of what I do,” Luke said.

“It’s what _I_ do,” Spencer said.

“Wouldn’t you say you were able to make a fairly decent character assessment of me up front? You hunt serial killers for a living and you felt safe enough to sleep in my apartment last night.”

“I guess that’s a fair point.” Spencer fiddled with his hands and started to jiggle his leg. Luke put his hand on Spencer’s thigh.

“Spencer,” he said. There was no annoyance in his voice, only kindness. Spencer took a deep breath and let it out slowly and stopped fidgeting. Luke didn’t move his hand.

“Do you want to come over and write at my place while I read?” Spencer asked.

“Can I bring Roxy?”

“Of course.” Luke smiled over at him.

“I’d like that.”

20 minutes later, they were curled up on Spencer’s couch. Luke was sitting on the end with his feet up on the coffee table and his laptop balanced on the arm of the couch. Spencer was laying with his head in Luke’s lap and his Logic in Philosophy textbook balanced on his chest. Luke absently ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair when there was a lull in his typing. Roxy was laying on the couch at Spencer’s feet.

  
Spencer would pop out with passages of his textbook or interesting trains of thought at random intervals as he read. Luke smiled down at him and hung on every word that fell from Spencer’s lips. Spencer was just putting down his Logic in Philosophy textbook and picking up An Anthology of Greek Philosophy when there was a knock on the door. He sighed, unhappy about being made to get out of his comfortable position on the couch, and walked over to the door. He opened it to see Morgan and Garcia smiling at him. Garcia was holding a plate of cupcakes with bright pink and yellow icing and sprinkles. She balanced the plate in one hand and hugged Spencer with her free arm.

“How ya doing boy genius?” she asked.

Spencer patted her awkwardly on the back before wriggling out of her grasp. “Just preparing for classes to start,” he said and ushered them inside.

“Shouldn’t you take some time off?” Morgan asked.

“Absolutely not. Something in my life needs to make sense,” Spencer said. Morgan saw Luke sitting on the couch, quickly took in his position, the proximity of Spencer’s textbooks, the dog on the couch, and Spencer’s disheveled hair and narrowed his eyes.

“Who’s this?” he asked. Luke put his laptop on the coffee table and stood, reaching out to shake Morgan’s hand.

“Alvez,” he said. “Luke Alvez. You guys must be Spencer’s friends from the BAU.”

“I’m Derek Morgan,” Morgan said, returning the handshake a little more firmly than necessary. Luke remained unfazed.

“Penelope Garcia,” Garcia said, shaking Luke’s hand.

“Derek is on my team at the BAU and Penelope is our technical analyst.”

“I can find anything on anyone with a few strokes of the keys,” Garcia said haughtily, a mild threat in her voice. Luke smirked slightly. She wouldn’t find much on him. Most of his work was classified above an FBI analyst’s security clearance, but she could try if it would make her feel better.

“Be nice, baby girl,” Morgan said. Garcia let out a little “hmph.”

“We can’t stay long, but I wanted to drop of these cupcakes,” Garcia said. “I made them and decorated them myself.”

“Red velvet?” Spencer asked hopefully as he took the plate that Garcia was holding out to him.

“Of course, silly boy. They’re your favorite.” Spencer eagerly took a cupcake and held the plate out to Luke who took one as well.

“Do you want me to put these in the kitchen?” Luke asked. He sensed his presence was unwelcome by the other two FBI agents.

“Please,” Spencer said.

“Who is that?” Morgan asked quietly as Luke walked out of the room and Roxy followed.

“He lives in the building.”

“What do you know about him?” Morgan asked.

Spencer shrugged. “Not a lot, yet. He just got out of the Army. He was a Ranger. His favorite color is green.” Morgan scowled. Spencer purposely left out the part about him sleeping on Luke’s couch last night. Garcia and Morgan were on guard enough as it was.

“Leave it to me,” Garcia said. “I’ll find out everything you want to know about him and then some.”

“That’s really not necessary,” Spencer said, but he knew she would do it anyway. It was her way of taking care of the people she loved. They all looked up as Luke walked back into the living room. Roxy climbed back up onto the couch and curled up on the far end.

“How have you been holding up?” Garcia asked.

“I had a pretty rough day yesterday. Luke has been keeping me company.”

“Do you need anything?” Morgan asked.

Spencer held up his cupcake. “All is right with the world,” he said.

Garcia put her hand on Spencer’s shoulder and he tensed. “Just say the word if there’s anything we can do,” she said. “Anytime, day or night.”

“Thanks. I will,” Spencer said.

“We have to get going. Hotch just got out of a meeting with Strauss and called us all in. He didn’t sound happy.”

“Thanks for stopping by,” Spencer said. Garcia waved and Spencer shut the door behind them. He slumped down on the couch. Luke sat next to him and put his arm around his shoulders.

“Seeing them only makes it worse,” Spencer said. “They’re the biggest reminder that she’s gone. Does it get easier?”

“That’s what I hear,” Luke said. “I’m not there, yet, but I have to believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

“You seem so put together.”

Luke shook his head. “I’m not very externally emotional,” he said.

“If you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me,” Spencer said.

Luke smiled a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now where were we?” They settled back down on the couch, but Luke was distracted. He really wanted to talk, but he hadn’t a clue where he would start or what he would say, and even if he did, he didn’t think he could get the words out. He and Phil had a very close bond. They had enlisted together straight out of high school and fought side by side for 17 years. It felt like there was a black hole inside of his chest. He looked down at Spencer, lost in his textbook. Maybe eventually he could find the words to express what he was going through, but today was not that day. He pushed his thoughts aside and went back to his writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *side note: Never wearing matching socks is not a part of Spencer’s character. Rather, it is a quirk of the actor, Matthew Gray Gubler. This is the actual reason he cited in an interview for never wearing matching socks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia and Morgan do a little digging. Someone shows up from Luke's past. Spencer is a total badass. More snuggles.
> 
> Trigger warning: domestic violence

Once Morgan and Garcia got back to the BAU, they made a beeline for Garcia's lair.

“Full background check?” Morgan asked.

Garcia smiled wickedly. “He made the mistake of uttering his last name in my presence,” she said. Garcia sat down at her desk and started searching for information on Luke Alvez. “OK, let's see. Luke Alvez, 35, born and raised in the Bronx by his mother. Dad was in the Army. Luke was an Army Ranger until three months ago when he was honorably discharged and awarded the Purple Heart medal.”

“The Purple Heart is the highest medal of honor you can receive in the military,” Morgan said. “It's for being killed or injured in the line of duty. Can you see what happened?”

“No, it's a classified mission,” Garcia said. “He was in for 17 years. Looks like he and a friend signed up with the buddy system straight out of high school, and – Oh...”

“What?”

“The guy he signed up with, Phil Henson, was killed in the line of duty four months ago. But that's all I can make out about his military career. His clearance level goes even higher than mine and that's saying something.”

“What's he been doing since he got back?” Morgan asked.

“He's seeing a trauma specialist once a week, but that's about it. He moved into Reid's apartment building right after he got out of the Army.”

“Any dirt from his past?”

“If there is dirt, I will find it... Here's something. He used to be married. Oh, this is a sad story. They were married for five years. About two years into the marriage, there are a series of police responses to domestic violence calls. They drop off for a while, and then there is another string of reports in the year leading up to the divorce. The only one that was ever prosecuted was the last one. That one ended in a week-long hospital stay and prison time for felonious aggravated assault. Then there was a restraining order and a month later, they were divorced.” Morgan and Garcia were quiet for a moment as they processed this information. “Do you think we should tell him?” Garcia asked finally.

“Have there been any further incidents?” Morgan asked.

“Not since he got out of prison,” Garcia said.

“Let's keep it between us, then. I'll keep an eye on Reid, though. Good work, baby girl.”

Garcia smiled. “Only the best for my chocolate god and boy genius.”

\----------------------

Over the next several weeks, Luke and Spencer became each other's almost constant companions. Spencer began to have more good days as he took solace in Luke's comfort. Spencer talked a lot about JJ. For Spencer, sharing her story with someone who hadn't known her was a way for her to live on. Luke happily hung on to every word that Spencer spoke to him, from his favorite memories of JJ and the BAU to long explanations of particle physics, to good-natured joking about how picky Luke was about his hair. Luke started to open up, as well. He talked about his life growing up in the Bronx, about his family and time in the service with Phil. They would go for walks with Roxy through the gorge and Spencer would tell him facts about the plant life and wildlife in the area.

Luke told Spencer about the nightmare he'd been having over and over since Phil died. He was submerged in a body of water so deep and dark he couldn't make out directions or see the surface. He swam up as hard as he could, but he never made it to the surface. When he realized he wasn't going to make it to the surface, he gave up and inhaled the water, drowning himself. He would sit straight up in bed, gasping for air. His chest burned. His heart raced. Fear coursed through him. He was never able to get back to sleep afterward. Sometimes Luke would sleep on Spencer's couch so he didn't have to spend the night alone. Sometimes it was the other way around.

Many days they would just spend curled up on the couch together with Luke writing and Spencer reading. Spencer would lay his head on Luke's lap and Luke would play with his hair or they would be at opposite ends of the couch with their feet tangled together in the middle. And then baseball season started and there were more evenings spent in Luke's apartment watching the Yankees while the two dueled each other over baseball facts, statistics, and history.

On one such night, Luke was angled with his back against the corner of the couch and Spencer was leaning back against him. Their legs were stretched out and tangled together. Luke had one arm around Spencer's shoulders and the other hand was digging into a bowl of popcorn balanced precariously on the edge of the couch.

“There's no way they're going to pull this off,” Spencer said.

“All they need is one more run to tie and put them into extra innings. They can pick it up in the 10th inning,” Luke said.

“Tanaka's on first, but there are two outs and Stanton is up next. He hasn't gotten on base once tonight. Darvish is going to strike him out.”

“Oh ye of little faith. Hush. He's stepping up now. Don't jinx this.”

“You can't 'jinx' statistical probability,” Spencer said. Luke threw a piece of popcorn at him. It hit him on the forehead and bounced onto the floor where Roxy eagerly gobbled it up. “That was uncalled for!” Spencer said laughing.

Outside of the apartment, a door slammed and Roxy's ears perked up.

“Strike one!” the umpire said.

“I told you,” Spencer said.

“Hush!” Luke admonished. “It's not over until it's over.”

Roxy got up off of the floor in front of the couch and trotted over to the front door.

“Strike two!” the umpire said.

“Don't you dare say a word,” Luke warned.

Roxy began to growl at the door.

“What is it, girl?” Luke asked concerned by her unusual behavior. There was a loud pounding on the door.

“Strike three! You're out!”

Luke got up and went to the door. He looked through the peephole and swore.

“Who is it?” Spencer asked. Luke didn't answer. He gritted his teeth and opened the door a foot. A large hand pushed the door open further.

“What are you doing here?” Luke asked the man standing in his doorway. His voice was low and dripping with spite.

“Ah, Luke. Is that anyway to greet me?” the man said. Spencer could smell the alcohol on him across the living room. It smelled like he'd been drinking for days without a shower. Roxy inserted herself between Luke and the man and snarled. “Hey, man. Tell your dog to back off.”

“Remmy, you're drunk and you're not welcome here. You need to leave.”

“Luke, Luke. Honey. Did you forget what today is? Is our first anniversary since I've been out,” Remmy said.

“Did _you_ forget that I have a _restraining order_?” Luke asked.

“Aw come on, Luke. Don't be like that. I miss you. I want you back.”

“Not going to happen,” Luke said coldly. “I'm not the same person I was three years ago. Either leave now or I'm calling the police.” His voice was steady, but he was shaking. Spencer could tell he was afraid.

Remmy sneered at Luke. The look on Remmy's face made Spencer go cold all over. He leaned over and gabbed his phone off the coffee table. The movement caught Remmy's eye. He pushed the door open so hard it slammed against the wall.

“Who the _fuck_ is that?!” Remmy yelled.

“None of your business!” Luke yelled back. Remmy lunged at Luke. Spencer would never forget the look of terror on Luke's face as he stumbled backwards. In a flash, Spencer was up off the couch. He spun Remmy around and slammed him face-first into the wall with his arm twisted up behind his back.

“Listen to me and listen to me good,” Spencer said. His voice was low and threatening. “My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I work for the FBI and I am fully prepared to make your life a living hell. I'm going to let you go and you are going to walk out of this building and you are never going to set foot on this property again, do you understand?” Remmy didn't respond. Spencer applied more force to the twisted arm and Remmy cried out. “Answer me or I'll break it. _Do you understand?_ ”

“Yes!” Remmy gasped.

“Furthermore, you are going to abide by the parameters of the restraining order and stay away from Luke. If I find out that you have violated said restraining order, I will _destroy_ you. _Do you understand?_ ”

“Yes!” Reid pulled Remmy away from the wall and pushed him through Luke's front door.

“Get out. Now,” he said. He watched Remmy hurry down the stairs and then he shut and locked the door. Roxy walked over and leaned against Luke's side. Luke was standing in the middle of the living room, stunned and on the verge of a panic attack. Reid walked up to him and pulled him in his arms as Luke broke down. Spencer held Luke and whispered to him as he sobbed in Reid's arms. Reid's heart broke for Luke as he pieced together the situation. Spencer wasn't in a hurry. He would stand there and hold him all night if that's what Luke needed, but slowly, Luke pulled himself together.

“I'm sorry,” Luke whispered. Spencer put his finger under Luke's chin and tilted his head up.

“Look at me,” Spencer said softly. Luke's brown eyes flickered up to meet Spencer's hazel eyes. “There is nothing for you to be sorry for. Nothing.”

Luke took a deep breath and pulled away. “Remmy is my ex-husband,” he said.

“You don't owe me an explanation,” Spencer said. “You don't owe me anything.”

“I want you to know,” Luke said.

 

“Ok,” Spencer said. “Come sit down with me.” Spencer sat down on the couch and pulled Luke into his arms. Luke let his head rest on Spencer's chest and focused on his heartbeat as he took a few slow breaths.

“We met in the service,” Luke started. “Remmy was an MP on base. He drank a lot, but it didn't interfere with his job or our lives too much, so I didn't make an issue of it. It started getting out of control after we got married. He drank all weekend, sun up to sun down. 'I earned the time off. I can do what I want with it,' he'd say. Then he started drinking through the week on the evenings. The more he drank, the meaner he got and I became his outlet. I loved him so much and I saw how wonderful he was before the drinking got out of hand and I just kept telling myself that person was still inside of him and that was worth fighting for, so I stayed. I knew he wasn't a monster. I knew he wasn't a bad person. He used to bring me breakfast in bed every Saturday morning. He would buy me gifts on whim just so I would know he was thinking of me. When he was in his right mind, he was the person everyone wanted to hang around. He had such a great sense of humor. We used to laugh so much together. He could always make me laugh. He could have any man or woman he wanted and I felt like I was so lucky that he chose me. But it just kept getting worse. He got into a fist fight with another officer one night but he'd never had any mark against him, so they ordered him into treatment. It was like a miracle. I got my husband back. Things were great for a while, even better than they were before. But then his mom died of cancer and he started drinking again. It was like he picked right back up where he left off. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to think that things could get better again. Phil begged me to leave him, but I'd seen him quit once already. I knew he could do it again. But he didn't. Then one night he was drunk and we got into and argument and he took a two-by-four to the side of my head. I still have the scar. It's almost gone, now. I ended up in the hospital and that's what it took for me to finally leave. He went to prison and I rebuilt my life without him. I knew he'd been released, but I didn't think he'd track me down.” Luke shivered at the memory of seeing Remmy in his doorway. Spencer tightened his arms around him.

“You're safe with me,” Spencer said.

“I know. Thank you for what you did,” Luke said.

“I meant everything that I said. I don't make friends easily, but I protect them fiercely.”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

“Of course I will,” Reid said with a smile. “I'm getting pretty used to your couch.”

Luke took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I'm exhausted after all that.”

“I would imagine so,” Spencer said.

“I'm going to take a shower and go to bed,” Luke said and stood up.

“Alright. I'll be right here if you need anything.” Luke walked toward the bathroom with Roxy on his heels and then abruptly turned back around toward Spencer.

“It doesn't bother you, does it?” Luke asked.

Spencer looked confused. “What?”

“That I'm gay,” Luke said.

“No. Should it?”

Luke shrugged. “Just checking. You never know. Good night Spencer. And thank you again.”

“Good night Luke. You're very welcome.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Spencer take a big step forward. Luke has a realization... then a breakdown.

Luke laid in his bed and petted Roxy and stared at the ceiling for an hour before he finally gave up trying to get back to sleep and got out of bed. Roxy stretched and jumped down off the bed and followed Luke into the kitchen. Luke got a glass of water and leaned up against the wall. He sipped it and watched Spencer sleep. Spencer had Luke's blanket pulled up around his shoulders. Brown curls were sticking out in every direction and there was a small smile on his face. Luke thought he looked beautiful. He was so grateful to have Spencer in his life. He didn't know what he would have done without him. Remmy's unexpected intrusion earlier that evening could have gone much worse if Spencer hadn't been there. It wasn't just the way Spencer stood up for him and threw Remmy out of his apartment, but the way that he held Luke afterward that spoke volumes about how much Spencer cared for Luke. Luke let himself sink into that feeling. He wrapped himself in it, the comfort, the safeness, the kindness, the friendship. He'd never connected with anyone else the way he had with Spencer. There had been significant relationships in his life over the years, but what they had was different, somehow. It was special and Luke cherished their connection. Yes, he was very grateful, and very happy.

Roxy whined and went over to the couch and licked Spencer's face.

“Roxy, no!” Luke whispered loudly. Spencer giggled sleepily and swatted at the slimy tongue and furry head in his face. “Roxy, come!” Roxy walked back over to Luke and sat down next to him. “Sorry,” Luke said.

Spencer wiped his face with the blanket and looked up at Luke with a smile. “It's fine,” he said. “What time is it?”

“Just after two.”

“What are you doing up?”

“I couldn't sleep so I came out to get a drink.” Spencer stretched out, turned on his side and pressed himself against the back of the couch, then pulled back the blanket and patted the empty space in front of him.

“And to spy on me while I sleep, apparently,” Spencer said. Luke set the glass on a coaster on the coffee table and laid down on the couch so he was facing Spencer. Spencer pulled the blanket back up and slipped his arm around Luke's waist. Roxy climbed up and laid down on their feet.

“That wasn't in the original plan,” Luke said. “You just looked so peaceful and happy.”

“Mmm. I was having a good dream.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“I don't remember, but it was a good one. I might have remembered if Roxy hadn't woken me up.” Roxy lifted her head off her paws and barked once. “Yes, I was talking about you,” Spencer said and reached down to scratch her ears. She licked his hand a couple times and then laid her head back down. Luke's heart fluttered as Spencer trailed his fingers down Luke's arm and then wrapped his arm back around Luke's waist.

Luke brushed a few curls behind Spencer's ear. “I can let you get back to sleep,” he said. “Maybe you'll remember.”

“No, stay. Please.”

“OK, but don't laugh at me if I fall off.”

Spencer tightened his arm around Luke's waist. “I've got you,” he said.

“I know you do,” Luke said. He ran his hand through Spencer's messy hair and played with the curls at the base of his neck. Spencer smiled and closed his eyes.

“That feels nice,” he said. Luke's stomach flipped as he took in the purely content look on Spencer's face and realized he was the one who put that smile there. He wanted to be the one that made Spencer feel like that for a very long time. Luke pushed the feeling away. Spencer was just a friend. A very special friend. Spencer yawned.

“I should really let you sleep,” Luke said.

“I'm so comfortable," Spencer mumbled. "This would be much easier on my couch. It's bigger.”

Luke hesitated before he spoke. “We could sleep in my bed. It's more comfortable than the couch anyway.” He didn't want Spencer to get the wrong idea.

“That's fine with me,” Spencer said. Luke pulled his feet out from under Roxy and stood up off the couch, then held his hand out to help Spencer up and led him to the bedroom. Spencer slipped under the covers and laid on his side. Luke got in behind him and pulled Spencer's back to his chest.

“Dulces sueños, cariño,”* he whispered.

Spencer smiled. “Good night,” he whispered back and quickly drifted off to sleep.

\---------------------

Spencer woke up with Luke's head on his chest. His perfect hair was a mess, and he was shirtless. The clock on the end table said 9:02. Spencer smiled at the man asleep on top of him and trailed his fingers down the smooth brown skin of his back. Luke's eyes flickered open slowly. He smiled at Spencer and then closed his eyes again.

“Good morning,” Spencer said quietly.

“Good morning,” Luke mumbled.

“You seem to be missing your shirt.”

Luke opened his eyes again. “I got hot. I'm not used to the extra body heat. Is that OK?”

“It's your house. I just made an observation.” Spencer ran his fingers across Luke's shoulder blades and down his arm. Luke's breath caught. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him like that.

Spencer paused his motion. “Are you OK?” he asked.

“Perfect,” Luke said. Spencer resumed. Luke hummed contentedly. “I don't want to get up.”

“Then don't,” Spencer said.

“I have to.”

“Why?”

“I have a surprise for you,” Luke said.

“What kind of surprise?” Spencer asked.

“The surprise kind,” Luke said with a laugh. “Come on. I'll show you.” Spencer followed Luke out to the kitchen. Luke reached into the cupboard under his island and produced a brand new waffle iron.

Spencer's eyes lit up. “You're going to make waffles?”

“Yep. I also have blueberries and cream.”

“You're perfect,” Spencer said.

“I do my best,” Luke said as he started to gather supplies.

“Do you care if I make coffee?”

“You know where the stuff is. Help yourself.” The two men moved comfortably around each other in the kitchen as Luke started the waffles and Spencer made coffee.

“So, I been thinking about something...” Spencer said cautiously.

“Yeah? What's that?” Luke asked.

“My lease is up next month. I don't know if I'm going to stay.”

Luke stopped abruptly and looked at Spencer. “You're moving?” he asked.

“I don't know. I don't really want to... There are just too many ghosts in my apartment.” Luke silently turned back to the waffles. A tense quiet hung between them. “I haven't decided yet. I don't know what to do.”

Luke didn't think before the words left his mouth. “Move in with me.”

“Really?”

“We can turn the office into your bedroom. We could split the rent and utilities. We practically live together anyway. You have spare clothes here, a toothbrush, you just slept and my bed, and now I'm making you waffles.” Luke realized he was rambling and shut up. He felt like he was losing Spencer. Everything had been so perfect a few minutes ago. He focused on the waffles and tried not to panic. Of course Spencer should do whatever was best for him, and of course Luke would support him no matter what he decided. And besides, Spencer wasn't his to lose anyway, he reminded himself.

Spencer stirred sugar into his coffee then poured a cup for Luke, added just the right amount of cream and handed it to him.

“You really want me to move in with you?” Spencer asked. Luke set down his coffee mug and took Spencer's hands.

“I want you to have peace. You deserve it. You deserve to live in a place that feels like home. You deserve healing. I want you to get better. If that's with me, that's wonderful, but if you need to go somewhere else to do that healing, that's what you need to do.” Luke smiled. “Hell, I'll even help you pack and move all those books you have. I just want you to be happy.” And that's when it hit him. He was in love with Spencer. The realization nearly knocked him off of his feet. He looked at the man in front of him and rubbed his thumbs over the back of Spencer's hands. No, they were just friends. Spencer wasn't gay, at least Luke didn't think so. There had been no indication of it. In fact, Luke realized that he had never heard Spencer talk about being in a relationship with anyone, male or female. Spencer smiled and shook his head. “What?” Luke asked.

“You _are_ perfect,” Spencer said. Luke's heart swelled.

“No, I'm not. I just try to take care of the people I care about.”

“Do you think there's enough room for all of my books?”

“We'll make room,” Luke said. He gave Spencer's hands a squeeze and turned back to the waffles. He needed to process what he was feeling, but he didn't even want to think about it. He didn't think he'd ever fall in love again after Remmy. Hell, he didn't ever want to fall in love again. And know this wonderful, beautiful man was standing in his kitchen and he had taken Luke's heart without Luke even noticing until it was too late. It was a bad idea to get romantically attached to him. They were just friends, Luke told himself again, very good friends. That's all.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer asked.

Luke shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. “This, that, and the other,” he said.

“You looked pretty deep in thought about something,” Spencer said.

Luke shifted awkwardly. “It's nothing,” he said.

Spencer quirked an eyebrow. “Did you forget that I'm a profiler?”

“It's nothing, really,” Luke said.

“I guess everyone is entitled to their secrets,” Spencer said. Luke took two plates out of the cupboard and set them on the island, then put the waffles on the plates and buttered them. He took the sweet cream and blueberries out of the refrigerator and mixed them together, and then spooned the mixture on top of the waffles. He took two forks and butter knives out of the silverware drawer and handed one set to Spencer.

“Dig in,” he said and sat down at the island next to Spencer. Spencer took a big bite of the blueberries and cream from the top of his waffles and moaned in pleasure.

“I could get used to this,” Spencer said. They ate in silence. Spencer savored his waffles and Luke was lost in thought. When they were finished, Luke took the plates to the sink. He washed them and Spencer dried them and put them away.

“So when do you want me to start moving in?” Spencer asked.

“Whenever you want,” Luke said.

“I should start packing. I don't know what to do with all of my furniture.”

“Are there any pieces that you're particularly attached to?”

“I'm not attached to much of anything besides my books and my roll top desk and a few other small personal things.”

“Well, you could put your storage or sell some of it if you want.”

“We should go through my apartment and decide what move in and what to do with the rest.”

“Sounds like a plan. Do you want to do that right away? I was thinking about going for a walk with Roxy today.”

“I doesn't have to be today. I still have 36 days. I could call the team and they can help us move stuff and you could finally meet them all.”

“That would be good,” Luke said, but his voice was reserved.

“You don't want to meet them?” Spencer asked.

“No, I do. It's just that I know they are some of the most important people in your life. I didn't get the warm fuzzies from the other two.”

“It's a tight-knit group. Morgan has always been very protective of me. He's like a brother. And Garcia doesn't like outsiders. They'll warm up to you, though, when they get to know you. Hotch is a little standoffish in general, so don't take that personally. Prentiss and Rossi will take to you right away, I'm sure.”

“I hope so,” Luke said.

“You'll be fine,” Spencer assured him. “You have to understand their hesitation with a job like this. The things we've been through together have made us a family.”

“I do understand.”

“On another note, a walk sounds good. Do you mind if I come?”

“Of course not,” Luke said. “I was going to go down to Laurel Loop in Woodbridge and do probably five miles. It's beautiful. Have you ever been there?” Spencer shook his head. “I'll go get dressed and then we can go up to your place for you to change.” Luke came out of his bedroom wearing shorts and a tank top and grabbed three bottles of water out of his refrigerator. He put Roxy's service vest on, then locked up and they went upstairs to Spencer's apartment with Roxy right behind them. Spencer changed into a pair of jeans and a tshirt.

“Are you sure you don't want to put on shorts?” Luke asked. “It's supposed to be 76 degrees today.”

“I don't wear shorts,” Spencer said.

“Come on, genius. You know you're going to overheat.”

“I don't even own any shorts. The last time I wore shorts was in high school for gym.”

“We're getting you a pair of shorts. I'm not going to have you keel over from heat stroke on my watch.” Spencer huffed. “You know I'm right. If I tried to walk five miles in jeans in 76 degree weather, you'd be spewing facts and statistics about heat-related dangers.” Spencer made a face at him, but said nothing. “I'll take your silence as a concession. We'll stop at Liming's on the way and then we can just take Fuller Street out to Woodbridge.”

“Fine,” Spencer said, looking very displeased. Spencer was still pouting when they pulled into the department store parking lot. They went into the store with Roxy on their heels. Inside, Spencer looked overwhelmed at the options in front of him, so Luke took over.

“What size are you?” Luke asked.

“34 waist,” Spencer grumbled. Luke shuffled through the racks and held up a pair of fashionable blue plaid shorts.

“How about these?” he asked. “They match your shirt.”

Spencer shook his head. “Too busy.”

“So a solid color, then...” Luke wandered through the clothes with Roxy and Spencer trailing behind him.

“How do you feel about denim?” Luke asked holding up a pair of denim shorts.

“It's OK,” Spencer said.

Luke handed the shorts to Spencer. “You can try these on.”

“I have to try them on?” Spencer whined.

“Of course. You need to make sure they fit right and they're comfortable before you buy them.”

Spencer frowned. “I hate shopping.”

“These are nice,” Luke said looking at a pair of black shorts. “Black isn't the best for heat, though.”

“Actually, that's a myth. People assume that white clothing keeps them cool in the heat. When we see white, we're seeing the combination of all possible visible light. This means that white clothing reflects a great deal of wavelengths of energy coming in, reflecting the sun's rays back, which is correct. Black does absorb the energy from the sun, however, it also absorbs the energy radiating off the body and traps the heat inside your cloths. The trick is to find black clothing that is thin enough to allow the heat to escape. There's a good breeze outside today, so that will allow the heat absorbed by the clothing to radiate away.” Luke was staring at Spencer with a smile on his face. “What?” Spencer asked.

“You're incredible,” Luke said. Spencer flushed and took the shorts Luke was holding out to him.

“These are nice and light,” Spencer said.

“Give me back the denim ones and go try on the black ones.”

“Luke – ”

“Go,” Luke said.

Spencer muttered something under his breath and headed toward the changing rooms. Once he was sure they fit well, they went up to the check out counter.

“I'll buy them,” Luke said and pulled out his wallet.

“It's OK,” Spencer said. “I'll get them.”

“I forced you into this in the first place,” Luke said and handed his credit card to the lady at the checkout. "Beat ya to it," he said with a grin.

“Thank you,” Spencer said.

“Not a problem. You go to the restroom and change and Roxy and I will wait for you in the car.” A few minutes later, Luke saw Spencer walking toward the car. The shorts fit him well and looked really good on him. For as thin as he was, his legs were surprisingly muscular. Well, maybe it wasn't so surprising when Luke thought about what he did for a living. He must have to keep himself pretty fit. Luke wondered what the rest of his body looked like and then pushed the query away.

“Why do you hate shorts so much?” Luke asked when Spencer got in the car.

Spencer hesitated. “They make me self-conscious.”

“Why?”

Spencer shrugged. “I was always this gangly, awkward kid. I got made fun of a lot.”

“You were also 12 in a school of 14 to 18-year-olds. I don't find you gangly or awkward. You're very attractive and those shorts look good on you.”

Spencer perked up. “You think so?”

“Yes, I do.” A small smile settled on Spencer's face and stayed as they drove out to Woodbridge.

\-----------------

Spencer was sitting on a rock on the side of the trail tapping nervously. Luke had wandered into the trees four minutes and 18 seconds ago. There was a waterfall that they could hear from the trail and Luke wanted to take pictures. Spencer had begged off, stating his clumsiness and propensity for injury as the reason for staying on the trail. “No eres divertido,”** Luke had said with a grin. “You know I speak Spanish,” Spencer replied. “Good to know,” Luke said with a wink and disappeared into the trees.

5 minutes and 39 seconds.

The scene around Spencer was beautiful and he told Luke that he wanted to make a regular event of them coming out here with Roxy. Spencer had been peppering Luke with facts about the different trees and foliage and wildlife and then got onto a diatribe about climate change and deforestation and the encroachment on national parks. Now he was waiting for Luke to walk back out to the trail.

6 minutes and 42 seconds. 7 minutes and 23 seconds.

He heard Roxy bark and stood up, scanning the trees anxiously. They were so dense that Spencer couldn't see beyond a few feet. Roxy came bounding out of the trees toward Spencer and stopped in front of him. She barked twice and turned back to the way she had come.

“What's wrong, Roxy?” Spencer asked, fear pitching his voice.

Roxy barked again and started for the trees. Spencer followed her as fast as he could until they came to a clearing. Roxy ran up to Luke and sat down. Luke was sitting on a log by the waterfall with his head between his knees and his hands clasped over the back of his head. He was shaking uncontrollably. Spencer rushed over and knelt next to him. He laid his hand on Luke's back and Luke jerked violently away. Spencer sat on the log next to him.

“Luke, Luke. It's Spencer.” At the sound of Spencer's voice, Luke turned to him and collapsed against his chest. He balled his fists in Spencer's shirt and hung on like he was drowning.

“Make it stop,” Luke pleaded in a hoarse whisper. Spencer's heart broke for Luke. He knew first hand the terror and panic and pain that was coursing through Luke right now, and what he wanted more than anything right now was to make it stop. He wrapped his arms tightly around Luke, one hand on the back of his head and one around his waist. They had been through this together enough times that they knew well what the other needed to get through a panic attack. For Spencer it was hearing Luke's voice as he whispered reassurances to him. For Luke, it was the tightness of Spencer's embrace. It grounded him. It reassured him that he was safe. He knew that when Spencer held him that nothing could hurt him, no matter what his mind told him. Spencer rocked Luke back and forth while Roxy stood guard. Even when Luke had stopped shaking, he clung to Spencer and Spencer continued to hold him.

“Are you OK, mi amado?” *** Spencer asked. Luke took a deep breath and nodded against Spencer's chest. Spencer ran his fingers through Luke's hair and kissed him on the top of his head.

“I'm OK,” Luke said and sat up. Spencer kept one arm around his waist.

“What happened?” Spencer asked.

“I don't know. It just came out of nowhere. One minute I was fine. The next minute I was on my knees. It's been weeks since I've have a panic attack or nightmare.”

“13 days, 16 hours, and 47 minutes.”

“I thought I was getting better,” Luke said.

“This doesn't mean you're not getting better. It's not a failing or weakness on your part. 'I was taught that the way of progress was never swift or easy.'”

“Who said that?”

“Marie Curie. Come on. Let's get out of here.” Spencer helped Luke to his feet, but didn't let go of Luke's hand once he had stood up. They held hands as they walked back onto the trail and back to the car. Luke didn't want to let go. It felt so right, so perfect to have his fingers intertwined with Spencer's. They fell into step with each other and said nothing. Nothing needed said. It was all in the touch, in the way Spencer rubbed his thumb over the back of Luke's hand, the way Luke held on just a little too tightly. It wasn't like they didn't have their own lives anymore, but they bonded on a deep level. Their hearts were as intertwined as their fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Sweet dreams, sweetheart.  
> ** You're no fun.  
> *** literally, "my soul" translates similarly to my beloved or my love


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate doing chapter summaries. Fluff. Lots of fluff and a sassy old Italian lady. There ya go.

Spencer was taking a nap on the couch when there was a knock on the door followed by a single bark. He chuckled. There was no need to guess who was at his door. He got up and tripped over a box he had packed with office supplies. He caught his balance and opened the door and rubbed his eyes.

“Good morning, cariño,”* Luke said. Roxy went up to Spencer and nudged his hand. Spencer smiled and bent down to scratch her ears. “Did I wake you?” Luke asked.

“I was taking nap,” Spencer said.

“Sorry.”

Spencer stood up and motioned Luke inside. “It's fine,” he said and yawned.

“I was going out to dinner and wanted to know if you wanted to come. I'm starving, but I don't feel like cooking.”

“You know, I've been wanting lasagna for about a week now. There's an Italian place out in Dumfries that has the best lasagna you'll ever eat.”

“I wish you would have told me,” Luke said. “Lasagna is my best dish.”

“You'd be hard-pressed to beat Giorgio's,” Spencer said.

“OK. Let's go to this Giorgio's and you can have their lasagna and then I'll make you mine and you can judge.”

“Deal. Let me go change into something a little nicer.” Luke sat down on the couch while Spencer went to change. He came out wearing a dark gray shirt, an deep green cardigan and jeans that were a little too tight. And a white sock with pink polka dots and a solid sky blue one, of course. Luke took in the sight and his heart sped up. Spencer really was gorgeous. This thoughts must of shown on his face..

“What are you thinking?” Spencer asked.

“Your sweater really brings out the green in your eyes,” Luke said. Spencer smiled and sat down on the couch to put his shoes on. Luke put his hand on the side of Spencer's face and tilted his head so they were eye-to-eye. He ran his thumb over Spencer's check bone. “You're beautiful,” he said.

Spencer blushed and looked down. “I have to say, no one's ever called me that before.”

“It's true,” Luke said. Spencer raised his eyes to Luke back up at Luke and smiled. Luke wanted so badly to press his lips against Spencer's and show him just how irresistible Luke thought he was, but he restrained himself and pulled away. He wondered how long he'd be able to keep this up and pushed the thought away. He didn't want to ruin what they had. “Let's go,” he said. I'm hungry.”

“Are you driving or am I?” Spencer asked.

“You should drive since you know where it is,” Luke said. Spencer grabbed his keys and wallet out of the bowl on the end table and the three made their way to Spencer's car. It was a 20 minute drive to the restaurant and another 15 minute wait for a table, but Spencer assured Luke and his growling stomach the the wait was well worth it.

When they were seated, Roxy lay down at their feet under the table and waited patiently for the food she could smell in the air. Luke and Spencer intertwined their feet and looked over the menu. Well, Luke looked over the menu while Spencer decided on appetizers.

“I guess I should probably have the lasagna, then?” Luke asked.

“I would if I were you,” Spencer said.

“I'll just let you order for me.”

“How do you feel about spanakopita for an appetizer?”

“I have no idea what that is,” Luke said.

“It's a baked spinach and feta pie wrapped in a phyllo pastry.”

“Sure. Why not?” The waitress, and older, kindly Italian woman with a warm smile, came over with a basket of bread sticks.

“What can I get for you to drink?” she asked in a thick Italian accent.

“Do you want wine?” Spencer asked Luke. 

Luke shrugged. “Whatever you suggest,” he said.

“Avrò un bicchiere di Pinot Noir, per favore,”** Spencer said.

“Ti andrebbe un aperitivo?” the waitress asked.

“Sì, per favore. Il spanakopita.”

“Lo avrò presto per te,” the waitress said and shuffled off.

Luke was smiling fondly at Spencer. “You never cease to amaze me.”

Spencer flushed. “You're in rare form today,” he said.

“How so?” Luke asked.

“All these compliments.”

Luke cocked his head inquisitively. “Does it bother you?” he asked.

“No. It's just...I'm not used to it,” Spencer said.

“You better get used to it,” Luke said with a smile. He broke a bread stick in half and slipped it under the table to Roxy and then put the other half in his mouth. Spencer sipped his water and then took a bread stick for himself.

“These are very garlic-y,” Luke said.

“It's Italian,” Spencer said. “I love garlic.” The waitress came back a few minutes later with their wine and appetizer.

“Sei pronto per ordinare?”*** she asked Spencer.

“Sì, avrò le lasagne.” Spencer said.

“E per il tuo ragazzo?” Spencer's face turned bright red.

“He's not my boyfriend,” Spencer said. Luke's eyes widened. The waitress looked at Luke for a moment and then back at Spencer with a smile that said she knew something that they didn't.

“Oh honey, you are kidding yourself. I am 64 years old and I know true love when I see it.” Luke took a long slow breath and tried to control his racing heart. How could she possibly know? “You two look at each other like Giuseppe and I looked at each other when we were young and the love was new and fresh and exciting. You'll figure it out eventually. True love always finds a way. Now,” she said, turning to Luke, “what do you want to eat?”

“Uh, whatever he's having,” Luke stammered.

“Lasagna it is,” she said. She gave them a wink and then scooted back to the kitchen. Luke and Spencer looked at each other with wide eyes, each trying to figure out what to say.

“I do care about you a great deal,” Spencer said finally.

“So do I,” Luke said.

“You care about you, too?” Spencer asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Luke laughed. “I meant you. I care about you.” Spencer took Luke's hand and laced their fingers together. Then he knitted his brow together.

“Do people think I'm gay?” he asked.

“I don't know. I didn't think you were.”

“I mean I don't care one way or the other. I was just wondering.”

“Honestly. I can't get a read on you at all,” Luke said. “I've never heard you talk about dating anyone, male or female.”

“That's because I never have,” Spencer said.

“What?” Luke asked surprised.

“I've never dated anyone. I was 12 when I graduated high school. When I finally got to dating age, I was in college and everyone was still much older than me and I was too busy with school to care anyway. I got hired at the BAU when I was 22 and I've been focused on work and my career.” 

“If this is too personal, just tell me, but...have you ever slept with anyone?”

“No.”

“Ever kissed anyone?

“Well there was this model several years ago, Lilah. We were tracking a stalker with erotomania and she pulled me into her pool and kissed me. Ruined my gun.” Spencer shrugged. “I never found someone I was all that interested in pursuing.”

“OK... But if you were to pursue someone, would it be a guy or a girl?”

“Their gender identity, gender expression, or assigned sex at birth makes no difference to me.”

“Do you ever intend to date anyone?”

“I just figure that it will happen when it's meant to, and if it doesn't...” Spencer shrugged again. 

“Sorry. I don't mean to interrogate you. It's just...unusual.”

“I don't mind. I guess what I really want is connection and companionship. I want to feel safe with someone, share my life and my passions with them. Someone I'm not afraid to show the darkness to. Someone who celebrates the good in me and in life. I want someone who's compassionate and kind. Someone smart and strong, but also vulnerable and human and humble. I want the person I fall in love with to be my best friend...” Spencer trailed off. He looked at his and Luke's hands, intertwined on the table and then up at Luke with an odd expression on his face. “Maybe she was right,” he breathed.

The waitress came over with their food and Spencer quickly dropped Luke's hand. She set their food down, and bustled off.

 

“So there's this movie I wanted to watch,” Spencer said, effectively changing the subject. “Well actually it's a recording of a live Broadway production. Have you ever seen Notre Dame de Paris?”

“No, but I have seen the Disney movie,” Luke said. Spencer shook his head in disapproval. “Isn't the play in French?”

“Yes, and so is the original book it was based off of.”

“French is not one of the languages I speak.”

“There are English subtitles.”

Luke groaned. “Sounds amazing.”

“Good,” Spencer said looking triumphant. “We can watch it tonight.”

“I wasn't being serious,” Luke protested.

“Too late. I already won.”

Luke sighed. “You're lucky you're cute or I wouldn't let you get away with this stuff.”

“'The lady protest too much, methinks.' 'Oh but she'll keep her word.'” 

Luke rolled his eyes. “You and your Shakespeare." He took a big bite of his food. "This lasagna is pretty good, but I think you'll like mine better,” he said.

“We shall see,” Spencer said.

“Is that a challenge?”

Spencer cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe,” he said.

“Well, challenge accepted.”

When they were done with their dinner, they ordered desert. Luke got the cheesecake and Spencer ordered the chocolate mousse.

“This is amazing,” Spencer said. “I usually get the cannoli. I had no idea what I was missing out on.”

“Can I try a bite?”

Spencer smirked. “I don't know. Can you.”

Luke laughed. “Oh my god, Spencer. May I try a bite?” Spencer scooped up some mousse on his spoon and held it out out for Luke to try. When the chocolate hit his tongue, Luke closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure, sliding his lips slowly off the spoon and rolling the mousse around in his mouth. Heat like Spencer had never felt before shot through his body and his breath hitched.

Luke swallowed and opened his eyes. “You OK?” he asked with smirk.

Spencer cleared his throat and dropped his gaze. “Just peachy,” he said. Luke laughed and cut a piece of his cheesecake with his fork.

“Want to try?” Luke asked. Spencer opened his mouth and took the cheesecake off Luke's fork, not breaking eye connect. Spencer was close enough to see that Luke's pupils were dilated and he was holding his breath, soft lips slightly parted.

“That was pretty good,” Spencer said.

Luke let out a rush of breath. “Yeah, it was.”

Spencer smiled. “Are you talking about the mousse?”

Luke grinned back. “The cheesecake was better.” 

\----------

There was a debate on the way home as to whether they would watch Notre Dame at Spencer's apartment or Luke's. On one hand, Spencer had the bigger couch. On the other hand, Luke had the bigger TV. In the end Luke won, arguing that he needed to be able to read the subtitles since he, unlike Spencer, didn't know French. On this point, Spencer relented. Spencer stretched out on the couch and Luke laid against him with his head on Spencer's chest. Luke was chilly so they had the blanket wrapped around them. Spencer absently ran his fingers through Luke's hair and across his back. Luke fought not to fall asleep, one because cuddling with Spencer and his touch was so soothing, and two, Notre Dame de Paris was mind-numbingly boring. He lost the battle about halfway through and woke up to Spencer shaking him when it was finished.

“So you liked it then?” Spencer asked with a cheeky smile.

“Yeah,” Luke answered dryly. “It was wonderful. I love French sing-a-longs.”

Spencer's jaw dropped open. “I'll just pretend you didn't say that.”

“I'm tired. I can't be held responsible for my actions.”

“I don't think that's how that works,” Spencer said.

“My house, my rules.”

“We're going to have to amend those rules once I move in.”

“Technically my name is on the lease, so it's my apartment,” Luke said.

“We're going to have to add my name to your lease,” Spencer said.

Luke yawned. “I didn't think of that.”

“Are you ready for bed?” Spencer asked.

“So ready, Luke mumbled. “But I'm warm and comfortable and my stomach is full,” Luke said. “I could sleep right here and be just fine.”

“Well that is not going to work for my back. It's already sore.”

Luke sat up. “Why didn't you say something?”

“I couldn't bring myself to wake you up.” Luke yawned again. Spencer leaned over and kissed him on the temple. “Get yourself to bed and I'll see you in the morning.” Luke nodded his agreement and they went their separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweetheart
> 
> **Spencer: "I'll have a glass of Pinot noir, please."
> 
> Waitress:"Would you like an appetizer?"
> 
> Spencer: "Yes, please. The Spanakopita ".
> 
> Waitress: "I shall have it soon for you,"
> 
> ***Waitress: "Are you ready to order?"
> 
> Spencer: "Yes, I'll have lasagna." Spencer said.
> 
> Waitress: "And for your boyfriend?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan gives Spencer a push and Spencer and Luke finally talk about their feelings.

Morgan and Garcia came over that weekend to help Spencer and Luke move some of Spencer's things into storage. Well, Morgan came to help. Garcia came for the company and to pester Luke. Spencer and Morgan were outside loading Spencer's dining room table and chairs into the truck when Luke came down the steps with his arms full of boxes followed closely by Garcia who was emptyhanded.

“Yeah, whatever newbie,” Garcia was saying. “I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. I could ruin your whole life with a single keystroke.” Luke shot Spencer a “kill me now” look and Morgan and Spencer fought to hold back their laughter. Spencer took one of the boxes from Luke and helped him get them into the truck.

“Is Garcia reading you the riot act?” Spencer asked.

Luke rolled his eyes. “I've just been grilled about my 'intentions' with you like I'm taking you to prom and Penelope is your over-protective half-crazy mother.”

Spencer laughed. “I told you we're family.”

“I'm pretty sure she hates me.”

“She doesn't hate you. This is Garcia showing her love.”

“I'd hate to see what she's like when she actually doesn't like someone.”

Spencer took his hand and squeezed it. “She'll warm up to you. I promise.”

“I've been warned to not hold my breath.”

Spencer laughed. “Sounds about right.” Morgan watched their interaction and shot a look to Garcia. 

Garcia raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “I couldn't get a straight answer out of him to save my life and I can be very persuasive,” she said.

“I'll talk to Reid,” Morgan said.

“Well I hope you get a hell of a lot more intel than I did.”

“That's what they pay me for, hot stuff,” Morgan said. Luke walked back to the apartment building. He stopped at the doorway and turned toward Garcia.

“Are you coming, Mama Bear?” he asked with a smirk. Garcia let out a huff and followed him.

“You know, if you're going to follow me around all day, the least you could do is carry something,” they heard Luke say.

“Oh please. I'm just here for the entertainment. Besides, I just bought these hot pink kitten heals and I'm not about to break an ankle, much less a heel for you.” They heard Luke laugh, but couldn't hear his response.

“So those two seem to be getting along,” Spencer said as he moved the last dining room chair into the truck.

“What's the deal with you two?” Morgan asked.

“Deal?” Spencer repeated.

“Yeah. Are you guys together or what?”

“Me and Luke? What? No. We're just friends.”

“The hell you are.”

“What?”

“Reid, seriously, you're a profiler. Have you really not noticed the way that man looks at you?”

Spencer frowned. “What do you mean?”

Morgan sighed. “He's head over heels for you, Reid.”

Spencer shook his head. “We're just friends,” he said again.

“Reid, you and I are friends, really good friends. I love you like a brother and would do anything for you, but I have never looked at you like that. He looks at you like you hang the stars in the sky.”

“That's ridiculous. Stars are held in place by gravity and dark matter.”

Morgan shook his head. “Besides that, you let him touch you. You don't even shake hands, but I've seen you guys touch no less than 10 times today. You held his hand just now.”

Spencer shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “It's different with him. I feel better when I'm around him, happier, calmer. He makes me laugh. We have fun together, but it's more than that. Luke makes me feel like... like I'm safe and the world makes sense. It feels like I'm home.”

Morgan looked smug. “Yeah. That's called being in love.” Spencer knitted his brows together and stared at the ground. “You need to talk to him, kid, before you move in.”

“I will,” Spencer said quietly.

“And you need to be careful.”

Spencer looked up at Morgan. “Of what?”

“He was married before and his ex-husband is bad news. He just got out of prison a few months ago.”

“Yeah, I know I met him. Wait, did Garcia do a background check on him?”

“Of course she did. What do you mean you met him?”

“He showed up drunk at Luke's apartment the other day.”

“What happened?”

“He got aggressive and I pinned him to the wall, threatened to break his arm, and told him that if he didn't honor the restraining order I would destroy him.”

Morgan grinned. “Damn, kid. See? True love.”

Spencer blushed. “Shut up,” he said. Luke came out of the apartment building with a stack of boxes, followed again by Garcia. This time, however, she was barefoot and carrying a box of her own.

“If I break a nail, you're paying to have them redone,” Garcia was saying. Morgan went over and got the box from Garcia.

“I'll take that, baby girl.”

Garcia smiled up at him. “Thank you, angelfish.”

“That's the last of it,” Luke said as he put the boxes in the truck. “Thank you guys for your help.”

“You're welcome,” Garcia said with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “Not you so much. I meant them.”

Garcia shot him a glare. “See if I help you with anything again.”

“Are you sure you guys don't help unloading this stuff?” Morgan asked.

“Nah, that's the easy part,” Luke said. “The stairs are the killer.”

“OK, we we'll get out of your hair, then,” Morgan said. He held his hand out to Luke and Luke shook it.

“We'll have to have you guys over for dinner as a thank you once we get everything settled,” Luke said.

“That would be cool. I hear you're a Yankees fan?” Morgan asked.

“Born and bred,” Luke said.

“They're playing my Cubs in a few weeks. Maybe we could catch the game over some beers?”

“That sounds good. I'll have Spencer hit you up.”

“Great. Ready to go?” Morgan asked Garcia.

“I left my shoes upstairs,” she said.

“I'll go get them,” Luke said and trekked back up to Spencer's apartment.

“He's a hunk,” Garcia said to Spencer when Luke was out of earshot.

Spencer smiled. “Careful, Garcia. Morgan might get jealous,” he said.

Garcia put her head on Morgan's shoulder and smiled. “My brown sugar knows he's always my number one.”

Luke came down with Garcia's shoes and she and Morgan said their goodbyes and left. Spencer and Luke took his stuff to the storage unit and unloaded, then returned the truck and went home to relax. They ordered pizza and ate it on the couch with Roxy curled up in between them hoping for scraps.

“I'm so sore from moving all that stuff today,” Spencer said.

“Don't you chase bad guys for a living?” Luke joked.

“That uses an entirely different set of muscles.”

“What hurts?” Luke asked.

“My feet and by back.”

“I can help with that.” Luke got up off the couch and gathered up their paper plates, napkins, and the empty pizza box. He threw away the trash and then went to the bathroom. He came back out with a bottle of lotion and sat down on the end of the couch. “Put your feet up,” he said.

Spencer stretched out and put his feet up on Luke's lap. Luke pulled off his socks, one pink one and one with a panda on it, and tossed them on the floor. Then he slathered some lotion on his hands and began to rub Spencer's feet.

“Smells good,” Spencer said.

“It's coco butter,” Luke said.

“I smells like you.”

“I put it on after I shower.” Luke rubbed the lotion into Spencer's feet and ankles and Spencer's eyelids fluttered shut. Luke massaged the balls of Spencer's feet and the then heels and then rubbed his thumbs down the soft arch in the middle.

“That feels amazing,” Spencer moaned. Luke smiled and continued to rub. “You're going to put me to sleep.”

“Tired?” Luke asked.

“A little. Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

“Mi casa es tu casa, literalmente.”[1]

“Do you mind if I sleep with you again?”

“Of course not,” Luke said. “In fact, why don't you go lay down and take your shirt off and I'll rub your back.” Spencer made his way to the bedroom and Luke followed with the lotion. Spencer took his shirt off and laid down on his stomach in the middle of the bed. Luke knelt next to him and squirted some lotion onto Spencer's back.

“Hey!” Spencer yelped. “That's cold!”

“Lo siento,” Luke said, the grin evident in his voice. [2]

“No you're not,” Spencer said.

Luke chuckled. “No, I'm not.”

Luke tossed the bottle on the bed and rubbed the lotion into Spencer's skin with gentle motions. He moved to Spencer's shoulders and dug his strong fingers into the tense muscles. Spencer sighed and laid his head down on his arms. Luke moved up to Spencer's neck and then down his arms. Spencer reveled in the touch and his mind wandered back to his conversation with Morgan. He also considered the fact that he was laying shirtless in Luke's bed with Luke's hands all over his bare skin. He didn't know how to start the conversation. How did you ask your best friend if they were in love with you? How did you tell them that you think you're in love with them? Luke moved down Spencer's back rubbing and caressing. He got to Spencer's lower back and lightened up.

“Is this sore?” he asked.

“Very,” Spencer said.

“You're really tense.” He kneaded gently paying attention to the spot above his right hip. His fingers brushed Spencer's hip bone and Spencer shivered.

“Sorry,” Luke said and moved his hands higher. “You're quiet tonight. Something on your mind?” Spencer sighed. Spencer rolled over and put his head in Luke's lap. Luke brushed the hair out of Spencer's face. “What is it?” he asked.

“I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate you,” Spencer said.

“Not explicitly, no, but you don't need to say it for me to know it.”

“I think it's important to say those things out loud. I do appreciate you. You've become an indispensable part of my life. You're an incredible person. You're strong, but not afraid to be open with me. You're kind. You're genuine. I feel stronger when you're around. I feel lighter, hopeful.”

Luke took Spencer's hand and laced their fingers together and smiled at him. “I feel the same way about you. I was in such a dark place when I met you. I was in pain all the time. That's all there was for me. You made me laugh again. You gave me hope that it would get better. It was the first time in months that I had any reason to believe. My whole world fell apart. I lost my best friend, got shot, and left the only place I'd know my whole adult life back-to-back. You healed me.”

“No, you healed yourself,” Spencer said. “I supported you, but you did the work to get better.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Luke said. “Not that I don't love being showered with compliments, but what's bringing all this up now?” Spencer hesitated, trying to choose his words. Luke waited patiently.

“Morgan made an interesting comment to me today,” Spencer said.

“About what?” Luke asked.

“About the way you look at me.” Luke heart started to race. Was it obvious to everyone else but Spencer the way Luke felt about him?

“And how do I look at you?” Luke asked, keeping his voice even.

“To quote Morgan, 'he's head over heels for you.' He said you look at me like I hang the stars in the sky and said I was an idiot for not noticing. Well, he didn't say it quite like that, but that's what he meant.” Luke's racing heart skipped a beat. He tried to keep his breath steady so Spencer wouldn't notice that he was starting to panic. “He also noticed that I let you touch me.”

“What do you think?” Luke asked.

“I think that's the second time in a week someone's made a comment like that about our relationship and we should talk about it, see if there's anything to it.” There was a long pause. Luke's mind was racing. He felt cornered. Morgan was absolutely right and so was the waitress. He couldn't get a read on how Spencer was feeling about it. He desperately wanted to tell Spencer how he felt, but he didn't want to jeopardize their relationship. He didn't know what he would do if Spencer rejected him, but just the thought was making him sick to his stomach. “What are we, Luke?” Spencer asked. “Are we just friends? Is there more to it? Was Morgan right?” And there it was. There was no way to dodge the question.

Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yes,” he said quietly. “He's right. I'm in love with you. I am crazy, deeply in love with you.” Spencer smiled up at him and was quiet as he digested this revelation. “Please say something,” Luke said with desperation in his voice.

“Why didn't you say anything?” Spencer asked.

“I was afraid to ruin what we had if you didn't feel the same way. I can't imagine my life without you in it ever again.” Spencer sat up and turned to face Luke. He cupped the side of Luke's face with his hand. 

“Luke,” Spencer said softly. “You are everything I've ever wanted. You are everything I've waited for. There has never been anyone before you, because I was waiting for the right person. You are that person. I think – No, I know, I love you, too.” Luke let out a rush of breath and pulled Spencer into his arms and kissed him on the top of his head.

“You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that,” Luke said. 

Spencer pulled back and looked at him. “I think I do,” he said. 

“Realmente quiero besarte ahora mismo,” Luke whispered. [3]

“Then do it,” Spencer said. Luke put one arm around Spencer's waist and the other hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer. He pressed his lips to Spencer's and sighed. Spencer parted his lips and deepened the kiss. It started off soft, but the heat built quickly. When Luke slipped his tongue into Spencer's mouth, Spencer moaned. Luke's nerves were lit on fire by such an obscene noise coming from such sweet lips. Spence slid his hands up Luke's side under his shirt and Luke shivered at the touch. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt of and toss it behind him on the bed. Then he gently pushed Spencer down on his back and braced himself over him. He paused to study Spencer's face. His eyes were bright and very green. His hair was a mess. His face was flushed. His lips were red. And he was smiling like Luke had never seen before. Luke took a deep breath. He wanted to strip Spencer naked and make love to him right then and there, but Spencer had never done this before and Luke didn't want to push him if he wasn't ready.

“Do you want to stop?” Luke asked gently. “We can, no questions asked.”

“No,” Spencer said firmly. “I don't want to stop.”

“Are you sure?” Luke asked. Spencer put his hand on the back of Luke's head and pulled him down to kiss him again. There was nothing soft or gentle about this kiss. It was one of pure lust.

“I'm sure,” Spencer said. That was all Luke needed. He tilted Spencer's head up and nipped his ear then kissed and sucked a line down his throat while training his fingers down Spencer's chest. His moved his mouth down further, stopping to tease Spencer's nipples. Spencer gasped and arched his back, pressing his hips into Luke's stomach. Luke could feel how hard he was through his jeans. He moved his mouth down further, kissing and licking and biting. Spencer was squirming under the overwhelming sensations flooding his body and he wondered briefly why he had waited so long to do this. Luke stopped and looked up at him as he undid the button on Spencer's pants. They smiled at each other and Spencer knew he'd done the right thing. Luke was the one he wanted to share this with. Luke pulled off Spencer's jeans and boxers and tossed them on the floor. Spencer was blushing at being completely naked in front of Luke.

“You OK?” Luke asked.

“I don't really know what I'm doing,” Spencer said.

“I've got you. Just relax and enjoy yourself.” Luke took Spencer's hard cock in his hand and began to stroke it. Spencer gasped and thrust up into his hand. Luke bent over him and kissed him. He tried to put all of his feelings into that kiss, all his love and caring and gratitude and passion for Spencer. Spencer threaded his fingers through Luke's hair and gripped tightly. Luke moaned and nipped Spencer's bottom lip, causing Spencer's breath to catch.

“It's not fair that you're still wearing clothes,” Spencer said breathlessly. Luke nipped at Spencer's jaw.

“I can fix that,” he said. He stood up off of the bed and unbuttoned his pants. Spencer watched with a greedy look in his eyes as Luke pushed his jeans and boxers of his chiseled hips and kicked them off. “Better?” Luke asked with a smirk.

Spencer nodded fervently. “Much. God, you're gorgeous.”

“No soy ni la mitad de guapa que tú,” Luke said. [4] Spencer reached out his hand and pulled Luke back on top of him. Luke kissed him hard and pushed into Spencer's hips with his own. Spencer gasped as their cocks slid against each other. 

“Please,” Spencer pleaded. “I need you.” Luke grabbed the lotion off the bed and put some in his palm, then took both of their cocks in one large hand a began to stroke them. Spencer moaned loudly and fisted his hands in the sheets. Despite the lust coursing through him, Luke made a concerted effort to go slow and draw every bit of pleasure out of Spencer that he could. Spencer's face was flushed bright red, his head was thrown back, his eyes were squeezed shut and his breath was coming in gasps. He moved his hips in time with Luke, thrusting shamelessly into his hand. No one had taught Spencer not to take what he wanted. No one had taught him to be shy, or ashamed, or embarrassed. It was up to Luke to mold him sexually and what he wanted more than anything was to give him all the pleasure he could handle and then some. Luke's usually reserved, self-conscious genius was coming undone underneath him and Luke thought it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

“Joder, tu caliente,” Luke breathed. [5] Spencer moved his hands to Luke's shoulders and gripped hard enough to leave bruises and nail marks. He was still thrusting into Luke's hand and his movements were becoming jerky. Luke could feel Spencer's body tensing under him. Luke knew he wasn't going to last much longer. Spencer's body was overwhelmed with sensation. Luke's touch was like fire. His mind was completely blank. The only things that existed were their bodies. Spencer didn't understand what was happening at first when he started to climax. He just felt that there was so much pleasure that he might actually loose his mind. 

“Luke,” he moaned. “Oh, god.” He felt like he couldn't breath. He was dizzy. The room seemed to be spinning, and still, the pleasure continued to build.

“Ven conmigo, cariño,” Luke said as he sped up. [6] Just when Spencer thought he couldn't stand it anymore, he let out a cry and came over Luke's hand. Spencer's orgasm put Luke over the edge.

“Dios, mio, Spencer. Carajo!” he cursed as he came. [7] He grabbed his shirt off the bed and wiped Spencer's stomach and then flopped on his bed next to him and tried to catch his breath. “That was amazing,” he said. He looked over at Spencer. He was splayed out on the bed with his eyes squeezed shut and his breath was ragged and he was still half hard.

“Are you ok?” Luke asked. Spencer whimpered. “Words, Spencer. Use your words.”

Spencer opened his eyes and looked at Luke. “I want more. Please.” Luke grinned.

“Tengo ganas devorate,” he said. Spencer's eye went wide. ¿Está bien? [8]

“As lo que quieras,” Spencer replied. [9] Luke smirked as he positioned himself between Spencer's legs. “That look in your eyes has me a little frightened,” Spencer said. Luke just winked and licked a stripe up the thick vein on the underside of Spencer's cock. Spencer sucked in a breath between clenched teeth. When Luke took him in his mouth, he cried out and thrust upward, causing Luke to choke a little.

“Sorry,” Spencer said sheepishly. 

Luke slid his mouth off Spencer's cock. “Tu pruebra rico.” [10] Spencer giggled and covered his face. Luke grinned and took Spencer's cock in his mouth again. He came up to the top and gently sucked on the head of Spencer's cock. Spencer ran his hands through Luke's hair and fought to keep his hips on the bed. Luke moved slowly, knowing that Spencer would last longer this time. He swirled his tongue around in languid circles up and down the shaft of Spencer's cock, keeping time with the strokes from his hand. 

Spencer couldn't stay still or quiet for the life of him and the sounds coming from his mouth were making Luke hot all over again. Luke picked up the pace a little, moving up and down with his hand and his mouth. Spencer's fingers tightened in his hair. The sensation went straight to Luke's cock. He loved the taste of Reid. He loved the way his body moved, the way his lips parted and his breath came in gasps. He loved that he was the one who could make Spencer come undone like this. He loved that he was the one Spencer had chosen. Spencer was starting to squirm and whimper. Luke knew what he was doing. He was keeping a steady pace, if a little on the slow side, and pausing now and then to lick and tease. He could feel Spencer's growing frustration and tension but he had every intention of drawing this out as long as possible, and well, if he could make Spencer beg for release in the process, all the better.

Spencer was definitely getting desperate and he probably would have been begging already if he had any idea what to say. Finally Luke's name slipped pleading from Spencer's lips.

“What do you want, cariño?” Luke asked while keeping up the motion with his hand.

“I don't know,” Spencer whimpered.

“Do you want faster?” Luke asked with a grin. Spencer nodded fervently. “Harder?” Another nod. “Do you want to cum?”

“Yes, yes,” Spencer begged. “Please!” Luke went back to work with his mouth at a faster pace. Spencer had lost the battle of self control and Luke had to pin his hips down to avoid choking. At one point he took Spencer all the way down his throat and Spencer yelled his name. Luke had never had sex with someone so responsive before and it was such a turn on for him. He loved seeing how needy Spencer was, how desperate he was, to see that the ecstasy had completely taken him over. Luke sped up again and Spencer dug his nails into his shoulders. He was muttering Luke's name over and over like it was the only word he could remember. He was breathing so hard Luke feared he might actually hyperventilate. Luke felt all the muscles in Spencer's body tense for a second.

“Fuck!” Spencer yelled, and then he was coming. Luke laid down next to him pulled Spencer's listless body onto his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

“I love you,” Luke said. 

Spencer raised his head to look Luke in the eyes. “I love you, too,” he said. Luke kissed him on the forehead. They lay there like that without a word until Spencer fell asleep. Luke looked at the man laying in his arms and felt totally content. With Spencer by his side, he could fight any demon. With Spencer by his side, he had the strength to move forward from the pain in his past. With Spencer by his side, he was finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 My house is your house, literally.
> 
> 2 I'm sorry.
> 
> 3 I really want to kiss you right now.
> 
> 4 I'm not half as gorgeous as you.
> 
> 5 Fuck, you're hot.
> 
> 6 Come for me, honey.
> 
> 7 My god, Spencer. Fuck!
> 
> 8 So, literally he's saying “I have the urge to devour you,” which definitely has a sexier connotation in Spanish and sounds silly in English. Obviously, in context he's hinting that he wants to suck Spencer's dick. Oh yeah, and the second parts means, Is that OK?
> 
> 9 Literally, “as you want”
> 
> 10 You taste delicious.
> 
> Hopefully I got all that right!! If you are a Spanish speaker and I made a mistake, please let me know!


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